Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
