id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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