I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
