Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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