I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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