Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
