With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
