And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
