Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
