My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
