she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize