went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
