Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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