im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize