Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize