yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
