I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
