I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
