Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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