He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
