Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
