Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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