you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
