yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
