He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
