I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
