Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
