if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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