if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
