i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
