when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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