i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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