Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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