Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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