He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
