So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
