Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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