just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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