this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
