Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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