dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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