I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
