so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
