Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
