So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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