Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
