I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
