watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
