The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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