Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
