i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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