yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
