Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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