is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
