i may or may not be watching the land before time
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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