he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
