is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
