I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
