ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
