this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just found a bag of teeth...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
