Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
