I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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