She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
