i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He felt like a one man threesome
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
