they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize